Driving to work today, in a rotten mood, I came to a stoplight and grudgingly stepped on my break. I cast my eyes left to watch the cars creep into motion, but as I followed them across the intersection, something more interesting caught my eye.
A man, bouncing gleefully from foot to foot, arms swinging around like a monkey or a goofball. My first instinct was to scowl softly as he tipped his chin up and gave the sky a smile and a sly wink. He came to a stop at the corner and rested his temple against the pole. Having ceased to walk, and therefore unable to bounce anymore, he seemed to consider what he had just done. In public. And his smile broke like a dam and gave way to a wave of laughter. He stood there, laughing, as long as I could see him.
I considered the man throughout the rest of my drive. My initial reaction had been that he must be absolutely loony and what a freak... but how narrow-minded could I get? Maybe he had just fallen in love. Maybe he had been hit by a happy stick. Maybe he just quit the job that he had loathed for the past six years.
Maybe he was just happy.
I felt a tremulous sorrow fill me up, and it continues to trouble me as I write these very words. Why is the world so sad? Why is it such a queer and distasteful sight to see a man dancing jovially through the street? Why was my first thought not to rejoice along with him? Share in his triumph, whatever it might have been? Why can't we all be so carefree and joyful? To hop from one foot to the other, throwing our arms about without a care, laughing, and loving every moment...
Friday, August 3, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Snow Boy
I close my wishful eyelids, praying silently, lacking faith. I have never been considered strong in body, but in mind I have a hand above the rest. You are my angel wings, who keep my heart from bobbing below the surface of an ever-swirling fog of desolation. The same and likewise, you are the anchor which tugs me down like a tease, a taunt, a reminder of my fragile soul. Always there, but never within sight... I gave you my heart before our relationship was even born.
Laughter, scorn, and condescension, I collect them all with a pensive, downcast demeanor. I keep a bag tied roughly about my neck, to carry the hate. It has no purpose but to narrow my vision in on that which truly matters. A life which one should be glad to live. I consider the hateful words I have picked up along my way and learn from them what I can.
But, ah Goddess... Fate does have a queer way of making her way.
The sweetness I once thought to embrace has become a pain I cannot begin to describe. Your suffocating restraints draw me downward, fumbling my heart and ripping holes in the seams that once held my patchwork soul whole. The bag about my neck does split, rip, and that cold poison does splatter my skin. I fear an ending that they call the 'Inevitable'.
But all of this is of no consequence when compared to the sincere longing, innocent lust, which does ring through my being like a cry for war on all that would dare to stand in my way.
My sincerest wish;
I only ask that I could cling to you the way a snowflake does stick to a child's cheek. I would be that snowflake that lands so prettily, twinkling like a jewel, winking coyly in the snow-refracted light, alighting on a young boy's face. It would be easy to brush me aside - I am not strong, my heart can be broken with a flick of the wrist - but if I make myself lovely enough, then none would deny me my brief embrace. I would be that fleck of precipitation that kisses the youth's skin fervently, causes his skin to flush red, and melts in his warmth. Then, as a fading spirit, I would gladly disappear. Become a trail of liquid, seep into the boy's skin, and live there for an eternity. This, for you, I would be.
But, my passion is more. I could be a thousand snowflakes! I could be a snowstorm with more wrath than Ares, determined to conquer what most definitely does belong rightfully to my soul. A thousand and more snowflakes that do polka-dot and eventually cover the entire body of this boy, who symbolizes you in all your tenderness, who cannot hope to comprehend my desire. My snowflakes, (each filled with more love than the most eager, trembling kiss) would caress every last inch of this boy's sweet, sensual skin. Of... your skin. And I would take you as my own.
My soul mate.
But, while a snowstorm passes and winter does eventually fade to spring, I know with all certainty that the fuel you provide to the fire in my heart... will never run low. My passion will never fade, our storm, our snow-dance... will never stop.
Do say you love me, do say you will. Promise me the world and deliver it by merely kissing my mouth, as that single brush would mean more every time. I must believe now that there is some greater design... as I know that you and I are two halves of a whole.
My sincerest wish... for you to be my companion, the coat-rack for my heart, the love that would make my life worth living, my watchful protector, my object of adoration, the champion who won my hand, the criminal who stole my affection, my wise adviser, my gentle tease, my snow-boy... forever.
ML
"And I'll love you, if you let me. And I'll love you if you won't make me stop." ~ MM.
Laughter, scorn, and condescension, I collect them all with a pensive, downcast demeanor. I keep a bag tied roughly about my neck, to carry the hate. It has no purpose but to narrow my vision in on that which truly matters. A life which one should be glad to live. I consider the hateful words I have picked up along my way and learn from them what I can.
But, ah Goddess... Fate does have a queer way of making her way.
The sweetness I once thought to embrace has become a pain I cannot begin to describe. Your suffocating restraints draw me downward, fumbling my heart and ripping holes in the seams that once held my patchwork soul whole. The bag about my neck does split, rip, and that cold poison does splatter my skin. I fear an ending that they call the 'Inevitable'.
But all of this is of no consequence when compared to the sincere longing, innocent lust, which does ring through my being like a cry for war on all that would dare to stand in my way.
My sincerest wish;
I only ask that I could cling to you the way a snowflake does stick to a child's cheek. I would be that snowflake that lands so prettily, twinkling like a jewel, winking coyly in the snow-refracted light, alighting on a young boy's face. It would be easy to brush me aside - I am not strong, my heart can be broken with a flick of the wrist - but if I make myself lovely enough, then none would deny me my brief embrace. I would be that fleck of precipitation that kisses the youth's skin fervently, causes his skin to flush red, and melts in his warmth. Then, as a fading spirit, I would gladly disappear. Become a trail of liquid, seep into the boy's skin, and live there for an eternity. This, for you, I would be.
But, my passion is more. I could be a thousand snowflakes! I could be a snowstorm with more wrath than Ares, determined to conquer what most definitely does belong rightfully to my soul. A thousand and more snowflakes that do polka-dot and eventually cover the entire body of this boy, who symbolizes you in all your tenderness, who cannot hope to comprehend my desire. My snowflakes, (each filled with more love than the most eager, trembling kiss) would caress every last inch of this boy's sweet, sensual skin. Of... your skin. And I would take you as my own.
My soul mate.
But, while a snowstorm passes and winter does eventually fade to spring, I know with all certainty that the fuel you provide to the fire in my heart... will never run low. My passion will never fade, our storm, our snow-dance... will never stop.
Do say you love me, do say you will. Promise me the world and deliver it by merely kissing my mouth, as that single brush would mean more every time. I must believe now that there is some greater design... as I know that you and I are two halves of a whole.
My sincerest wish... for you to be my companion, the coat-rack for my heart, the love that would make my life worth living, my watchful protector, my object of adoration, the champion who won my hand, the criminal who stole my affection, my wise adviser, my gentle tease, my snow-boy... forever.
ML
"And I'll love you, if you let me. And I'll love you if you won't make me stop." ~ MM.
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