I finally caved. Rather like the blog incident, I gave in to the mounting peer pressure and... yes. I made a facebook.
Instantly, I was bombarded with potential 'friends'! "You might know... so and so or so and so or so and so or so and so...." My mind began, quite lazily, to locate the files stored somewhere in the very back of my brain-locker. Does this face look familiar? Yes, no. Maybe. They all look the same! I couldn't have told any of them apart if their names hadn't been there. I switched to focus solely on the given name beside their sexy-picture-poses. Oh, her?
All it did was stir up resentment in me. Of course I knew these people. They were the same who mocked me throughout my elementary years, whispered spiteful lies behind my back in middle school. High school has been such a relief since they decided that my existence isn't even worth acknowledging!
How could I not feel betrayed, though? Scrolling through this list of hated names. They were all connected to me by the same person... my best friend. How can she be friends with the girl who called me a freak and spread rumors about my drinking bird's blood on the full moon? How can she sleep at night knowing that my ex... the one she claims to detest... the one who lied with every breath... is labeled as her 'friend' on facebook? It is despicable.
It should be called Fakebook. Nobody has nine hundred and eighty-two friends. Nobody. You wouldn't have time, even if you spent every waking moment trying to maintain said friendships... it would be impossible. So why do we go online and 'friend' all these people who we barely know, hardly like, and sometimes can't even stand?
Is it status alone? The ideal of popularity which, on a grander scale, equates fame?
I do not want to play their games. Too long did I fight to please. I have spent too long trying not to step on toes, smiling and apologizing and outright lying to make other people happy. Where did it ever get me? I've been used and mistreated, undervalued and overlooked, dismissed and left behind. Trash.
I can't wait until they realize how wrong they were. Are. I'm doing my best to make it happen. I can taste it... the triumph. Can you see the sweet future, so glorious in its indistinct and untouchable, wraithlike form?
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